Inspired by Jen’s Unsupportive Hubby Blog!
Ok so I just finished reading Jen’s blog and thought how that is sort of how my hubby is. Never does he ask me how it is going with WW. Even though I am and have been at goal for the past 2 years he still never asks how it is going, I guess he can see it is going good. I am keeping the weight off. He has the thinking that you don’t talk about weight with women. Caveman!!! He also never gives me compliments. He will however, tell my friends that I look good, but never does he tell me. Why is it so hard for hubby’s to be supportive, don’t they know we are in the end doing this for them as well as ourselves?
My hubby has pretty bad gout and is only 34 years old, which he doesn’t even try to take care of with diet and exercise. Mind you I do cook healthy meals for the most part for the family, but he has no concept of portion control. When he cooks, much like Jen’s hubby, he fries and loves gravy! I have tried to get him more involved by inviting him to go walking with me, but he complains of knee pain, this is where his gout is located, and just sits on his a$$! We all have bikes and still he refuses to ride. We bought him a more expensive bike than mine, I have a trailer to haul my 3 y.o. in and the other 2 boys can both ride on their own, and still he will not go. What gives. A dr. told him that if he doesn’t take care of his gout he is looking at a total knee/joint replacement within 10 years, remember I said he was 34. We have 3 boys and little Mama can’t teach them football or baseball, I am more into basketball and riding horses and things that have to do with animals. Ugh!!! I guess I will have to smack him upside the head.
Ok rant over! Like I said Jen inspired me, I only wish my talks with Hubby would turn out like hers. Maybe if I keep trying!
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Hi Cheryl- Sorry to hear this- But, really, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re happy with yourself- Besides, guys don’t internalize these things like we do. They are much more detached when it comes to communication. Men are very simple beings- they like things simple. Proper communication can be a stretch for them. Hope you’re doing better! Take care!
Awww Cheryl! I didn’t mean to get stinking thinking started for you today! LOL
We are sooo on the same page here. At least James will eat healthy meals….everyone here turns their noses up at it when I do cook…..Not so much Garrett, Jess and Nic…but Devan and Blair….they are replica’s of Kevin!!!
We just have to keep the heels dug in and do what we can for us. Sooner or later if James does have to have knee replacement, his Dr’s are going to tell him he has to be more active….which I am sure they are telling him already….but maybe that crisis would have an impact.
(((HUGS))) to you!!!!!
You know the best thing to do is show by example. Play hard with those kids and do everything you can with them. Also point out to your spouse how you’d like him to do more with them since they’ll only be young once. Tell him about all the things you do with the kids. Such as if you take a trip to the park point out all the exciting things like all of you fitting on the slide at once and how much fun it was and how excited the kids were to have you doing that with them.
Maybe by watching how much your relationship improves with your children it will motivate him to change as well, Just remember we can’t change them only ourselves. Lead by example and maybe he’ll find his motivation!
I agree with April that leading by example may be just the trick. I have a similar problem with my hubby..well, sorta anyway. I think that when he sees me succeeding in my weight loss it scares him a bit, because he’s also a bit overweight and he worries that my eye will wander. Of course that’s not true, so what I do then is to snuggle up to him a bit more often, and that helps. And definitely, when he sees me getting more active with our kids, he jumps right in there. Just try to be strong…oh, and another idea that might help (worked wonders for me) is a book called “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”. Sounds weird, but it gives you great ideas on how to help your hubby make positive changes without him even realizing that you’re helping him…ie he thinks it’s all his idea hahaha. Anyway, have a great day and keep up the great work!! Hugs!